• Pandemiployment

Permission Slip: Feeding Your Baby

I give ___________________ permission to feed her baby _________________ any damn way she pleases.


I acknowledge that all the research is shaky as shit. Is Breast Best? Or do socioeconomic factors matter far more than the contents of the bottle? Who the fuck knows. Studies go back and forth, but one thing is for sure: the GUILT associated with any type of feeding!


I hereby authorize you to ignore the angry mob with pitchforks taking advantage of your hormone-wracked body and get that baby fed.


By hook or by crook.

With a bottle with a boob on the sofa on the floor.

In your room in the car in your arms running late out the door.


Instructions: Take one baby. Put milk into baby (formula, breastmilk, or a mixed martini, shaken, not stirred). Burp when done. Enjoy fed baby.


Signature:





If you need a little pick me up, read about how everyone totally supports your feeding choices!

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