• Pandemiployment

Let's Talk About

It started with a cold, that turned into a sinus infection, that turned into...the destruction of my vocal cords.


Yep. Lost my voice.


I can manage a low whisper, and apparently, if I want to talk again, I shouldn't. Right.


I mean, it's fine. Who needs talking? I live with a chatty two year old...let's dissect that statement. He's chatty, and is not especially thrilled that I'm not responding. Not to mention my inability to read stories. The two year old part is pretty much self-explanatory. Do you know how many things you have to tell a two year old to do?


He'll wait until he's peeing his pants to go potty, if I don't push regular sit downs. If I'm not there to insist, then he won't be doing things like wearing clothes, or sitting to get his shoes put on. Picture me angry whispering, "we need to go" like a pissed off mouse who spotted a cat rounding a corner but her little mouse friend wants to snag another crumb. Hurry.


Luckily I had one meeting that I could gracefully bow out of at work, so my work day was saved on Friday. Not sure what I'll do later today when I have a presentation (I'm writing this in advance, so who knows! Maybe I'll be fine! Maybe I'll be Ariel post-Ursula-contract and will be miming).


My sister came over Friday night to save me, fielding most of the questions from the two year old and delivering a solid bedtime story time. An old friend came over today, who I haven't seen in about a year. Nothing like a strain whisper conversation while I try to mime. We're in the middle of a never-ending pandemic, what could there be to talk about?


Of course Friday I had to make repeated phone calls to my pediatrician, because the baby is on an antibiotic, and what do they think about her vomiting a little? Oh hey now how about this little mouth rash? I sound like I have a tracheostomy when I strain loud enough to be heard. I had to modulate my voice, giving it a robotic cadence so they could actually understand the words I was using.


In the grand scheme of 2020, losing your voice isn't so bad. Or so I tell myself, as I whisper scream.

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